Shared ground
Zechariah 12:12–14 presents grief that is both national (“the land”) and highly personal (“every family apart”). The repeated “apart” stresses that the mourning is not only a public event but breaks down into households and even into men and women mourning separately (explicit textual claim).
The listed households (David, Nathan, Levi, Shimeites) show that prominent lines as well as ordinary families are included. The closing line (“all the families who remain”) makes the scope comprehensive: no one is left out (explicit textual claim).
Where interpretation differs
Who “Nathan” is. Some take “Nathan” as the son of David, so the list names another branch of the royal house. Others think it may point to a different well-known Nathan, possibly signaling another leadership stream beyond kingship.
Who the “Shimeites” are. Some read them as a sub-group within the Levites (connected to a Shimei), which would keep the list within priestly/temple-related clans. Others see them as a separate clan named to represent broader lay groups.
Why men and wives mourn apart. Some interpret the separation mainly as privacy and sincerity: grief is individualized and cannot be performed as a crowd. Others think the wording may also reflect social patterns of the time (gendered spaces) without making a theological point about gender.
Why the disagreement exists
The passage gives a list of names without explaining the backstory for each. “House of X” language can indicate direct descent, a clan associated with a figure, or a recognized social group. Also, “apart” can be read as emphasizing inward, personal grief, or as describing customary social separation (or both).
What this passage clearly contributes
These verses intensify the earlier picture of deep lament in the chapter (Zechariah 12:10). They clarify how widespread mourning is expressed: not one unified ceremony, but many separate household laments, extending from major leadership families to “all the families who remain.” The text’s main contribution is the breadth and personal character of the mourning (explicit), while the exact identity of the named groups and the precise reason for gender separation are left for inference.